On the prevention and alleviation of Sea Sickness

I have been set the task of a bit o’ writin by Cap’n Jeff who claims the fair waters of Hawai’i as ‘is home port. I have decided to set down a bit o' advice. On the prevention and alleviation of Sea Sickness: Ahoy, landlubbers! So ye be wantin’ to sail the seas do ye? What’s that? Ye not be havin’ yer sea legs yet and suffer from that malady known as sea sickness? Since this be no true sickness or disease, it be best to keep the followin’ in mind. And do not be feelin’ too bad, any mariner worth 'is salt has had a bout with the ailment at one point.

    * Tis prudent to be fixin’ yer sights upon the horizon or land if ye be within sight of it. Refrain from looking all around ye, as tempting as it may be, else ye will most likely be burdened with the cold sweats and the urge to feed the fish as ye hang over the gunwale. (Fer the love of the sea, if ye do be feelin’ poxied, be sure and do everyone a favor and keep the deck clean, else ye will be shark bait as soon as ye be done swabbing the deck of yer mess!)
    * Avoid the urge to retire to yer quarters to lie down. I do be assurin' ye thet ye'd be inviting the sickness to become worse. Ye will soon be feelin as if ye were ‘bout to visit Davy Jones Locker.
    * Wear a Pressure Point Therapy Wrist Band. The wise acupressure practitioners of the Orient did be havin’ a good prevention. Ye can use this along with any remedy with no ill effect .
    * Have a bit o’ginger in any form that do be agreeable to ye. Pills, candy, cookies or jes plain raw.
    * Partake of some Rolaids ®. If ye be slightly ill, this may help, but the Gods save ye if ye be more than that. This magic pill will help to neutalize the acids in yer’ belly, hopefully suppressing the burn as ye lose yer lunch.

As much as yer mates do be wishin’ to spin yarns, sing chantys, splice the mainbrace and partake of grog the night before ye weigh anchor and set sail, ye may be wantin’ to take it easy. Especially if ye do be havin' difficulty holding yer rum. A hangover at sea will make you beg to Dance with Jack Ketch (The hangman)! So thar ye have it. Cap’n Jeff, I believe I have completed me task per our accord. I tip me hat to ye. May fair winds fill yer sails.